{"id":38545,"date":"2023-03-13T11:58:20","date_gmt":"2023-03-13T18:58:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/womensvoice.com\/en-us\/?p=38545"},"modified":"2023-03-22T10:30:49","modified_gmt":"2023-03-22T17:30:49","slug":"dont-shout-it-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/womensvoice.com\/en-us\/articles\/expert-advice\/dont-shout-it-out\/","title":{"rendered":"Don&#8217;t &#8220;Shout It Out&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section bb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; fullwidth=&#8221;on&#8221; specialty=&#8221;off&#8221; next_background_color=&#8221;#000000&#8243; inner_width=&#8221;auto&#8221; inner_max_width=&#8221;none&#8221;][et_pb_fullwidth_image _builder_version=&#8221;4.6.6&#8243; src=&#8221;https:\/\/womensvoice.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2023\/03\/dont-shout-it-out-banner.jpg&#8221; box_shadow_horizontal_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; box_shadow_vertical_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; box_shadow_blur_tablet=&#8221;40px&#8221; box_shadow_spread_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; z_index_tablet=&#8221;500&#8243; vertical_offset_tablet=&#8221;0&#8243; horizontal_offset_tablet=&#8221;0&#8243; \/][et_pb_fullwidth_code admin_label=&#8221;Text &#8211; Fullwidth Leader Text&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.6.6&#8243; module_id=&#8221;fullwidth-leader-text&#8221; z_index_tablet=&#8221;500&#8243; box_shadow_horizontal_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; box_shadow_vertical_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; box_shadow_blur_tablet=&#8221;40px&#8221; box_shadow_spread_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; vertical_offset_tablet=&#8221;0&#8243; horizontal_offset_tablet=&#8221;0&#8243;]<pee>\u201cShouting it out\u201d might be a great approach to quell laundry stains, but not stormy moments in personal relationships! <\/pee><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->[\/et_pb_fullwidth_code][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section bb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; fullwidth=&#8221;off&#8221; specialty=&#8221;off&#8221; prev_background_color=&#8221;#000000&#8243; inner_width=&#8221;auto&#8221; inner_max_width=&#8221;none&#8221;][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; 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header_2_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_2_text_shadow_blur_strength=&#8221;header_2_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93&#8243; header_2_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_3_text_shadow_horizontal_length=&#8221;header_3_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93&#8243; header_3_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_3_text_shadow_vertical_length=&#8221;header_3_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93&#8243; header_3_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_3_text_shadow_blur_strength=&#8221;header_3_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93&#8243; header_3_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_4_text_shadow_horizontal_length=&#8221;header_4_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93&#8243; header_4_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_4_text_shadow_vertical_length=&#8221;header_4_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93&#8243; header_4_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_4_text_shadow_blur_strength=&#8221;header_4_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93&#8243; header_4_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_5_text_shadow_horizontal_length=&#8221;header_5_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93&#8243; header_5_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_5_text_shadow_vertical_length=&#8221;header_5_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93&#8243; header_5_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_5_text_shadow_blur_strength=&#8221;header_5_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93&#8243; header_5_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_6_text_shadow_horizontal_length=&#8221;header_6_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93&#8243; header_6_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_6_text_shadow_vertical_length=&#8221;header_6_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93&#8243; header_6_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_6_text_shadow_blur_strength=&#8221;header_6_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93&#8243; header_6_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; box_shadow_horizontal_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; box_shadow_vertical_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; box_shadow_blur_tablet=&#8221;40px&#8221; box_shadow_spread_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; z_index_tablet=&#8221;500&#8243; header_font=&#8221;|700|||||||&#8221; header_text_color=&#8221;#509aa6&#8243; header_font_size=&#8221;40px&#8221; header_font_size_phone=&#8221;30px&#8221; header_font_size_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; header_letter_spacing_last_edited=&#8221;off|phone&#8221; header_line_height=&#8221;40px&#8221; header_line_height_phone=&#8221;30px&#8221; header_line_height_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; vertical_offset_tablet=&#8221;0&#8243; horizontal_offset_tablet=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><strong>When you\u2019re angry, you and your spouse are both upset. Don\u2019t make it worse by shouting.<\/strong> <strong>Don\u2019t even talk.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p>According to therapist Terry Real, your first move should be to create a cooling-off period. Then, check in: are you both calm enough after that break to engage with the disagreement? Only when both of you can say yes should you take the following steps, as Real related in a recent issue of <em>Goop<\/em>\u2019s newsletter.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">Describe what happened and how it affected you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">While it\u2019s always best to avoid attributing motive to your loved one, therapist Real says it\u2019s okay to share with your spouse what you told yourself about what happened and why. When you begin the make-up period, sharing how you felt is okay. Maybe you assumed your spouse was being selfish, oblivious, or whatever. It doesn\u2019t mean they were; remember that\u2019s what you told yourself. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">Next, describe the feelings you had or are having. Real suggests sticking with primary emotions such as pain, anger, fear, shame, or guilt.\u202f <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">Then, suggest a remedy \u2013 forgive and move on, promise to do things differently in the future, or do whatever would make you both feel better about what happened.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">Life is too short to live with anger and resentment. <br \/>Let it go and grow.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n<span class=\"et_bloom_bottom_trigger\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><div class=\"et_pb_row et_pb_row_0 et_pb_row_empty\">\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<\/div> When you\u2019re angry, you and your spouse are both upset. Don\u2019t make it worse by shouting. Don\u2019t even talk.According to therapist Terry Real, your first move should be to create a cooling-off period. Then, check in: are you both calm enough after that break to engage with the disagreement? Only when both of you [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":38548,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","apple_news_api_created_at":"","apple_news_api_id":"","apple_news_api_modified_at":"","apple_news_api_revision":"","apple_news_api_share_url":"","apple_news_cover_media_provider":"image","apple_news_coverimage":0,"apple_news_coverimage_caption":"","apple_news_cover_video_id":0,"apple_news_cover_video_url":"","apple_news_cover_embedwebvideo_url":"","apple_news_is_hidden":"","apple_news_is_paid":"","apple_news_is_preview":"","apple_news_is_sponsored":"","apple_news_maturity_rating":"","apple_news_metadata":"\"\"","apple_news_pullquote":"","apple_news_pullquote_position":"","apple_news_slug":"","apple_news_sections":[],"apple_news_suppress_video_url":false,"apple_news_use_image_component":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-38545","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-expert-advice","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"apple_news_notices":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.4 (Yoast SEO v27.4) - 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