Getting to know someone’s name is the first step in getting to know who they are as an individual.
A time when we knew our neighbours. A time when we were present with people, heard them, and felt what they felt – to really get to know them? Can we offer a smile to someone we don’t know and just say “hello”? We have a wonderful opportunity to give to others and learn how wonderful they all are. You may remember the famous movie, The King and I. Deborah Kerr sang a beautiful song, “Getting to Know You,” to the children she taught:
Deborah Kerr began this way:
“It’s a very ancient saying,
But a true and honest thought,
That if you become a teacher,
By your pupils you’ll be taught.
As a teacher I’ve been learning – You’ll forgive me if I boast – and I’ve now become an expert,
On the subject I like most.
Getting to know you,
Getting to know all about you,
Getting to like you,
Getting to hope you like me […].
Suddenly I’m bright and breezy,
Because of all the beautiful and new things I’m learning about you
Day by day.”
In the song, she expresses the wonder of learning from one another, and shares how much she has enjoyed getting to know her young pupils.
One day, I was watching my granddaughter, Leia. There was a small group of adults standing and talking, and she walked up. She took her hand and sweetly touched her heart and said, “I’m Leia.” I was struck by what a beautiful effort she made to say “hello” and introduce herself. But the group didn’t notice or acknowledge her.
Young children instinctively know how important a name is. When I showed Leia a picture of two new horses, her very first question was, “What are their names?” A name is very important – even for animals. Getting to know someone’s name is the first step in getting to know who they are as an individual.
So I decided to just say “hello” and learn from it. One afternoon, I was going into a full elevator and there was a mom with her daughter. The daughter reminded me of Leia, so I said “Hello, my name is…. What’s your name?” She told me, and her mom also repeated it for me. I said, “It’s nice to meet you.” She had such a big smile when I told her that! My stop came, and as I left, I said, “I hope the rest of your day is wonderful.” I’ve learned from young people and I’m careful not to ignore them. Sometimes we judge people by their age or how they look and miss out on a wonderful opportunity. We all have value and getting to know someone can be tremendously rewarding.
Another time, I was on a plane and a flight attendant was looking after us. She seemed a little stern, so I thought it best to just be polite and comply with her requests. Sometime later, I went to the washroom and noticed her sitting nearby, reading a book. I approached and said “hello,” told her my name, and said, “I’m so glad you’re able to have a nice moment where you can sit and read a bit. I can imagine how difficult it is to do this job – the mad rush of people coming in with their baggage; it must be hard on the nerves for sure.” She then told me her name and invited me to stay and talk longer. After talking to her, I realized that she was a very lovely person.
Can taking the time to say “hello” to someone really make a difference in people’s lives? Yes, it can! What’s important is the way we say it. How we say it can show our personality and our respect for the other person. On the airplane, saying “hello” and being able to share something I noticed with the flight attendant let us come to an understanding of each other.
On a different flight, I sat beside an older gentleman from Texas. I gave him my name, and we talked. We shared a lot, but I learned one thing that remains very meaningful to me: he had a daughter with a very rare genetic condition. At three years old, the only word she could say was “mom.” And as she grew older, “mom” remained the only word his daughter could say. Doctors had determined that her brain never developed beyond that of a three-year-old. This man and his wife were still caregivers for their daughter, and there were certain activities that she could do and enjoyed: she could use an iPad, and she loved going to a putting green.
He also had a second daughter, who was younger and had developed normally. He shared an interesting experience about her: one time at a grocery store, the younger daughter noticed that other customers lining up at the checkout line looked confused. They had noticed that something was different about her older sister. Feeling their tension, she walked up and said “hello” to each of them and explained her older sister’s circumstance.
They had been confused, but just learning about her sister made all the difference. And the most wonderful thing happened: their demeanour changed. The other customers started to relax and calm down. The younger sister had the courage to help these people get to know and understand her older sister. Getting to know other people’s circumstances can change everything.
Acknowledging a person builds common ground. It can start with something as simple as saying “hello” and sharing your name. What does that do? It gives us an opportunity to get to know the other person. Doing so has enriched my life and understanding of others. You may think, “Why should I bother?” We should bother to be as kind with as many people as we can. If we make the effort to talk to someone that way, it can show we care about them. It’s good to make time for it. We may find out that someone is having trouble, and we may be able to help them out. When we do – when we give to others in this way – it can also help us feel good about ourselves.
So much today has focused on tearing everything down. We’re being told wrong things about all sorts of people and nationalities – all these wrong things are being said on both sides. It’s so unfair.
Of course, it’s also hard to get to know someone from a Zoom meeting. We all know that being on our cellphone day and night, replying to messages, can make it really difficult to get to know who a person really is. Can we try really connecting to each other, rather than to our devices?
This year, 2025, let’s think about learning all we can about others. Of course, we should always be respectful of someone’s situation, especially if there is only a short time to “just say hello.” We can be light and breezy just getting to know somebody and how beautiful they are as a person. We all have so much in common! You can find out so much about other people… just by saying “hello.”
Teaching people how to get to know people
It’s not a secret! When we say “hello,” we’re giving something nice to somebody else.
It feels good when we give!
What can help you say “hello”?
- Have a genuine smile
- Try to understand the person you’re going to say “hello” to; their demeanour can say a lot
- Make eye contact
- Be relaxed and speak warmly
- Let conversations develop naturally
